Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Schnauzer sharps

It pays to be alert. I pride myself on my second to second, lightening fast responses. How do I do it? I’ll let you in on a little secret. I never take my eye off the ball. Not even for a moment. My concentration is second to none. I am male, hear me roar.

My focus never wavers. I am ready to pounce on any intruder, raise the alarm if anything unusual happens or someone falls down a well and needs rescuing, join any activity, run through the long grass, find missing blind orphans, chase my tail, put birds to flight, put the fear of God into the cat and any number of other good dog works.

Here we are, men of the house, your first line of defense.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hitting the jim

See, I can do amazing stuff. I surprise myself sometimes with my own genius. And do the humans ever love the stuff I can do!  (Mostly. Mum wasn't impressed with my boot legging activities recently. And when I got the neighbour's cat moving from that spot in the sun with one of my sharpest barks, that didn't exactly get a round of applause either).

However, by and large, I impress my audience more times than I do not. Such as with this latest thing. I can do furnastics. It takes a lot of hard work, commitment, drive, grit, determination, practice but finally I mastered it!

I can get my beard to twitch this way, at the same time lift my ear just so and the humans laugh and laugh. It's not easy successfully achieving furnastics like that, you have to be pretty focused. And sitting in the direction of the wind just right helps too.

So, it's not just Jims-nastics any more. I can do it too!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Getting the boot!

Mission.... To recover mysterious human artefact. I chose to accept it at great peril to myself. There wouldn't be a doggy treat in sight for hours if I got caught on this one!

So, 7am. Human sleeping. Detected by snore check. Check.
7.10 am. Begin assault on wooden mountain. One step at a time. One creak and it's all over.
7.12am. Belly crawl along landing to spy out the lie of the wasteland that is known in human terms as the Bedroom Floor.
7.15am. All clear. Advance slowly. Target in sight. Lying at foot of bed. Path clear of human interference.
7.17am. Secure artefact by grasping firmly between teeth. Retreat speedily but silently.
7.20. Was sure the bumping on the steps of the stairs of this dratted boot would wake the human! Wish was taller!
7.30. Back at base. The treasure is mine. But just the same practice looking innocent.