Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Then I heard squeak

I love my toys. Some of them are just made to please a discerning schnauzer like me. Like all of the best inventions, simplicity is the key to the success of the really great ones.

I have this round thing, it's like a ball but it has little horns on it that are bloody great for chewing. This toy bounces and best of all it squeaks when I grab it. It's a sound I never tire of. Never mind all that rubbish on the tv, I can't be bothered with that. Not when I can make this round thing make that sound.

Amazingly, it sometimes disappears. Usually at the time the humans are especially engrossed watching that tv box thing. Which is a real nuisance as it would be really handy to have my favourite toy around when Mum is too busy watching tv to play with me. If I have to make my own fun, I would like having the correct props to hand.

Anyway, when the bouncy squeaker is available, it is such fun. Only I speak squeak and it cracks me up every time!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Human behaviour

There is no making sense of the world sometimes. some things are just outside of a dog's understanding.

Take for example, St. Patrick's Day. Well, you can do the same for Christmas or lots of occasions. To a schnauzer, a day is a day is a day. You get up, you walk, you find a nice lamp post, you eat, you drink. Spare time is for cuddling with the humans.

The humans, on the other hand, they have all sorts of different days. Days for going shopping. Days for eating turkey. Days for wearing shamrock. Talk about complicating life.

Sometimes, a clever schnauzer knows to just play along. I have to say though, if anyone can tell me why oh why I need to look like this, I would take it as a kindness. I can tell you this much, there's no food to be had from it!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Turning green

This is my second St. Patrick's Day but I don't remember last year as I was a schnauzer of very tender years. Well months.

Anyway, what I hear is that there is going to be a parade down our street. I can't wait. There will be loads of people right outside my door, just right there for me to bark at. I can bark at the musicians. Or the dancers. Or the marching bands. Or the comics. Or the spectators.

My mind boggles at the thoughts of all there is to it. Whoever thought of this is a genius. A schnauzer loving genius. This will be better than a treat. Better than going to the park. Better than tummy rubs. I really ought to be practising for a bark fest like this. I do the occasional little dry run when out on my walks lately. A little woof here, a little bow wow there.

I'll have my full range ready for the actual day though, I promise.

Of course, as far as anyone else is concerned, I am going to the parade and going to be adorable. I have my costume and everything.

So, keep it to yourself, yea?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The look

If there is one thing I have worked very hard on since I was a puppy it is this. Wait for it, you'll be really impressed with my knowledge and use of this phrase. Non verbal communication. See, doesn't that sound full of schnauzery importance?

Now I am fully prepared to admit that one of my favourite things to do is bark, whether or not my listeners appreciate my skill at it.

However, I also know that I can say a lot with just a look. It is not by accident that we schnauzers have big brown eyes and devilish good looks.

I have devoted a lot of time to perfecting "the look" and let me tell you, my success with it knows no bounds. I have successfully lobbied to be brought to Grandma's, out for walks, to have just one more treat or a taste of that chicken. It s fool proof.

You believe me, don't you?