I say leave it to the cat

I know all there is to know about cats. Data that I will neatly summarise here into the following key points;
* Cats were meant to be chased. I mean, they sit there, staring at you until you do something about it. So bark. And get the best out of the cat.

*Care must be taken in the company of a cat at all times other than when they are streaking into the distance front of you. For some reason, they seem to think dogs are pin cushions and it is ok to sink their claws into our noses.

*Cats have brains of limited capacity and because of this are hindered from understanding why wet grass is a lot of fun to run in, why walking across a pit of mud is to be recommended and even encouraged and that there are far better uses of your time than spending it in a prolonged study and licking of muddy paws. Half the time there is no mud on their paws, anyway, just an imagined fleck but poor misguided creatures, they never can seem to grasp that this is not a reason to suspend all other activities.

And there you have it. The world of the cat and all you need to know about it. Now I am hoping that humans are reading this and learning a little something as they go along. Sometimes, you see, humans think that just because dogs are not cats, we must be compensated.

Take what happened to me the other day. While I know better than spend a minute of my time concerned with a bit of mud here or there, the humans think I need assistance in doing what the cats do all by themselves.

And so, they drop me in the bath and then comes the scrubbing of the paws and the ears. If I wanted this, I would do it myself. I have, however evolved past this and leave it to lesser beings like cats.

Try to keep up, humans.