The Philosopher's Schnauzer

Anyone with ears to hear will know that all schnauzers have a bark for every occasion. My own bark dictionary is generously endowed. There is “The Stranger at the Door” bark. The “Looks like the Postman is Going to Risk Calling Here Again” bark. The “I can’t Believe it, I see Another Dog on my Favourite Walk” bark. The “I Would Love Another Biscuit” bark. The “Why are You Looking at that Square Thing when You can Throw this Ball for Me” bark.

There are lots more too. No matter the event, the day or the occasion, there is a schnauzer sound to match. Humans of course don’t bark, they talk. That means they use words. Well, funny thing is, they seem to have hundreds of these and yet, they do like to repeat some over and over.

Recently, my humans have been saying some words a lot that remind me of my “I’m Not Going in There, That’s The Vet’s Place” bark. I don’t know what their words are but they don’t seem to like what they mean. They get many of them from the face in the box thing.

Here are some: “credit crunch” - some new dog treat, surely. And “negative equity” - a new agility sport, doubtless. “Rising unemployment” - a trick they will probably want me to learn. “Recession” - seems like a worm or tick or some other piece of nastiness as the humans make it sound rather awful and it is everywhere according to what I can hear from them.

However, they ought to learn from the way of the schnauzer. See, I know something that they never talk about from the square box. No matter about the treats you can’t afford or tricks that test you out, I’ll still be your schnauzer. I still think you are fabulous. My fur still feels soft and warm if you rub me down. I love your company. I’m never too tired or bored or busy to go for a walk with you.

And see that glint in my eye? It’s just because I’m happy to see you.